SEEKING:

Why I am changing course in 2024.

I haven't been writing much lately. Like everyone in the world, I have a lot going on at the moment.

But, it's more than the standard, "I am so busy and overwhelmed." I've had some really hard and heavy things happen in my life, involving people I love dearly, and it's just completely rocked my world.

Hardships can be really great launch pads of inspiration. Poetry, music, movies, art...some of the most beautiful creations are born through pain.

Apparently, that does not work for me. I just cannot seem to write.

As my therapist said to me a few weeks ago: "Life is life-ing pretty hard for you right now."

But recently, a moment of inspiration unexpectedly popped up while I was having a conversation with a friend from church. We were talking about how we would describe our church to other people and she said, “I think it's a church for seekers.”

Seekers.

That word has been rolling around in my brain ever since she said it. It’s such an accurate description of our church, yes. But also, it’s a perfect word to describe why I write and why I started this blog.

I started this blog to have a place to work through the stuff of life that happens to all of us, but I specifically wanted to talk about how that “stuff” intersects with a life of faith. Even more specifically, how it intersects with my life and my faith.

I wanted to explore topics like how my faith informs the way I handle the ups and downs of life, the stresses and blessings, the disappointments and the joys, the new beginnings and the sad endings.

But I didn’t only want to write about what may be happening on a personal, individual level. I also wanted to write about what is happening in and around the world today, specifically in my corner of America (Atlanta, Georgia), with the shifting cultural norms and social and political issues.

Not with the intent to air my own political opinions or convince anyone of a stance to take on a social issue. But merely to ask questions posed to a Christian audience. Because I think how we answer such questions is a matter of great significance for the heart of the gospel.

Questions like: how do you handle this scenario? What does love look like here? And how might the Bible speak into those conversations today? Is the Bible still relevant regarding these topics? Does any of this even matter to anyone today?!

Because the truth is, the world of Christianity has become pretty murky. By that I mean, it is unclear what it even means to be a Christian today.

Christians cannot agree on what the Bible says, much less how to interpret and apply its wisdom to our lives today. If you ask ten of your Bible-toting and quoting friends what it means to be a Christian, you will get ten different answers. As Barbara Brown Taylor has written, when you’ve met one Christian, you’ve met exactly one Christian.

Which is true about people in general. Not all Americans share the same politics, but we do share the same identity as Americans. So, it’s fine that Christians have different viewpoints and opinions. I am not suggesting there is a one-size-fits-all answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a Christian?”

What I am saying is that it just makes it difficult for those who are asking questions to know where to find satisfactory answers.

I know this to be true from personal experience.

It was during my late twenties (and I am now in my late thirties) that I started to encounter situations where the faith I had always known didn’t hold up in light of new information or real-world experiences. When that faith was challenged, I was left wanting something more and different. I did not want to totally walk away from my faith, but I did not know where to turn.

And I know that experience is not unique to me. I’ve spoken to so many people who were hurt by their church, their faith community, their religious upbringing. People who felt their only option was to walk away from it all.

So, I started this blog to reach that audience.

People who, in their own lives and faith traditions, found themselves having similar experiences with similar questions, but weren’t entirely satisfied with the answers they were receiving. Especially from the mainstream Evangelical Christian community.

My goal was to reach people who, like me, didn’t want to walk away from their faith altogether, but felt that the brand-name version of Christianity currently on offer leaves much to be desired. People who were seeking something more.

Because people who are satisfied with the status-quo don't seek something else.

I wanted people to know that what you see from mainline pastors and Evangelical preachers on TikTok is not all that’s out there. That there is a place you can go to ask questions where it’s actually safe and encouraged and welcome.

I did not start this blog because I personally have answers to these kinds of questions; but because I know there are others who are asking these kinds questions, and seeking answers, and I want them to know they are not alone.

However, after a year of blogging, I have not yet found that audience.

My ego tells me it’s because I just don’t know how to get this blog out there for people to find it. Which is definitely true. But I am also trying to honestly and humbly reflect on how I’ve been communicating on this platform and to examine where I can improve and grow.

What I know for sure is that if I keep doing the same thing, I will keep getting the same results.

I’m not exactly sure what the new blog will look like yet; perhaps this post is merely my way of holding myself accountable. I might try totally different topics this year. And I am open to suggestion and feedback on how to improve the effectiveness of this blog.

As always, my goal is to be helpful. So, I am going to shift my approach this year in hopes that I may reach more people who are seeking.

Because I do believe with all my heart that if you seek, you will find.