REFLECTING & PROJECTING:

How to make sure this year is different from last year.

We’re almost to the end of January 2024. Can you still say, "Happy New Year"?

I recently wished someone a "Happy New Year" and that's what she said to me in response. "Can you still say that?"

Almost like I offended her. Like I got her birthday wrong or something.

The implication I sensed from her question was: “Brittany, why are you still stuck on January 1? New Years Day has come and gone. Move on. What’s next?”

Even if it's on a subconscious level, productivity is deeply ingrained into us Americans. We are trained to be constantly moving, working, doing, pushing, striving, achieving, and just going, going, going….

It seems that many of us live in a perpetual state of “What’s next?”

This is my nature. I am a do-er. A finisher. I like a project because I love having a to-do list in the notes section of my phone so that I can say, “Done!” and watch a little green check-mark emoji pop up with predictive text.

And I never rest in the relief of completion of a task. No. I say, “Now, what’s next?” Which is the spirit behind New Years Resolutions when you think about it. What can I do better this year?

And don’t get me wrong, I think that’s a very healthy mindset. I’m not saying that resolutions like, “I’m going to be more generous/cut back on screen-time/drink more water/drink less alcohol,” are bad things.

I’m just saying that for me, I had the realization that changing something about my future behavior is less likely to happen unless I examine the underlying causes that contribute to that behavior.  

I just find it fascinating that we tend to look forward to what we might achieve, but we don’t really look back to reflect.

At least, we don’t look back in a healthy way. I mean, we all know someone who is totally stuck in the past. Think about it. Have you ever felt such anger towards someone who wronged you, or found it impossible to move on from a hurtful event of your past?

But that’s not what I mean by looking back or reflecting on the past year.

I also don’t mean looking back at the highlights of the past year, although that is a fun and worthwhile thing to do. But those are just snapshots of memories made in the last year.

My personal 2023 highlight reel.

To truly reflect means I need to examine decisions I made, both good and bad, in all areas of my life. And maybe as I reflect on what didn’t serve me, I might be able to project a different and hopefully more effective strategy to meet my goals and realize my hopes for the upcoming year.

Reflecting and Projecting at the same time.

I am not going to do all of that unpacking here in this blog, that’s for me and my diary.

But this blog is about working through the stuff of life and sharing my experiences in the hopes that something I say could be helpful for someone else.

So, I will work through one way I am going to reflect and project for this new-ish year.

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FIRST, REFLECTION.

The first thing I need to figure out is which area of my life I want to reflect on. And I think possibly the number one question people my age have is, "What is my purpose?" 

So, I'll reflect on my professional life.

I have always admired people who are so clearly in the profession they are meant to be in. People who knew when they were 10 years old that they wanted to be a doctor or pilot or people who figured out in high school they wanted to be a teacher or judge or CPA.

But my reality is that I don’t have clarity on my calling. I am almost 40, and I still don’t know what I am doing with my life.

While it would be ideal to have clarity on one’s professional calling, the truth is that most people have no idea. The average person changes careers 5-7 times in their life. I guess that should bring me comfort. It doesn’t.

I don’t want to be average, okay? I said it.

For the past several years, I have wanted to make a professional change, but I never do anything about it. And 2023 was no different. So, there's actually not much for me to reflect on in regards to my professional life, because I did nothing about it this past year.

If there is a universal truth about life, it’s this: nothing changes if nothing changes.

It's interesting to me that I am such a finisher, so goal-oriented, always looking for, "What's next?" and yet, in this area of my life, I stay paralyzed. I am so afraid of failure or making a wrong move that I simply don't move at all.

Change is hard for people. Turns out, it's really hard for me. So, I reflected back on the last time I made a big change in my life, which was after I read a book that inspired me. The book is by Gretchen Rubin, and it’s called Better Than Before. I made so many healthy changes and additions to my life in response to that book that I felt like I was in control of my life in a way I’d never been before. I was in fact, better than before.

The book inspired me so much that I typed up a Word document of my favorite takeaways and framed it. As I sit at my desk writing now, that frame is hanging on the wall just above my computer monitor. Here are some of the quotes:

“It takes 66 days to form a habit. Not 21.”

"Be specific about goals and use pairing."

“If it’s on the calendar, it happens.”

“It’s easier to do things EVERY day than SOME days.”

“The most important step is the FIRST step. Don’t get it perfect, get it GOING.”

It’s that last quote that is screaming at me right now. Because as I reflect back on my professional aspirations of 2023...or lack thereof...I can project this year will be absolutely no different unless I do something different. I must take the first step.

Which brings me to the projection part of the equation.

Actual frame hanging above my desk where I write.

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NEXT, PROJECTION.

Okay, so we know that it’s not enough to want something different. It’s not enough to say,

“I want a better relationship” or, “I want to lose weight” or, “I want to save more money.”

It's not enough for me to say, “I want a new career.”

I have to put a specific, actionable plan into place. And then I have to take the first step.

I’m not sure what my first step will be to realize my goal of moving into a new career. All I know for sure is that inaction is no longer a path I can afford to take. Maybe that’s true for you as well, in your own way.

Maybe I wrote this blog to hold myself accountable, I don't know.

But now that I have reflected and projected, it's time I get it going.

Stay tuned.