A DIABOLICAL SPEECH:

The problem Harrison Butker's Commencement Address presents for Christians.

My nephew graduated from high school last weekend, and he was the valedictorian of his class.

He gave an absolutely phenomenal speech. It was funny and insightful, with just the right amount of nostalgia with a hopeful excitement for what’s to come. The speech was filled with his trademark humility and wise-beyond-his-years perspectives on the important things in life. He nailed it.

Turns out, not all graduation speeches are created equal…

The one everyone is talking about lately is the commencement address Harrison Butker, the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, gave last weekend at Benedictine College.

I’ve had a lot of conversations about this in recent days, and opinions are STRONG. And obviously, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

(Although I am sure everyone, including myself, is far more interested in Taylor Swift’s opinion...)

While some of the response to Butker’s speech has been highly critical, many people are in support of his statements. Butker is Catholic, and he gave this address at a Catholic college, where his speech was met with a standing ovation and praise. 

Because of the religious nature of his speech, we discussed it at church today (after I’d already written this blog), and a friend said something that really struck me.

He said as Christians, if we are opposed to or even outraged by what Butker said, the best thing we can do is try and reach the people who were hurt by his words. We will gain nothing and get nowhere debating and arguing with people who agree with him. But what truly matters is that the people he targeted with his harmful comments know not all Christians are that way. There is a different way, which is the healing love of Christ.

Yeah. Oof. I needed to hear that on the deepest of levels.

Because initially, I wanted to try and convince Butker's followers that things he said were totally false and provide evidence to support my claims. But after the discussion at church, I sat down and made this edit, based on my friend's wisdom:

This blog is NOT for Butker’s fans and supporters. While I hope they would read it and see the other side of the impact of his speech, I understand that is not how our world works, at least not right now in this political atmosphere.

This blog is for women (certainly not all women, but many women); men who don’t subscribe to the brand of masculinity espoused by Butker; the LGBTQ+ community and its allies; people of every faith, but especially my Jewish friends; Christians who do not wish to be associated with this kind of harmful rhetoric; and those who are turned off by Christianity altogether and say, “See! This is why I could never be a Christian.” Because all they see is the negative and not the good.

This blog is for you guys.

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Just one more thing, before I get into it.

I want to start by saying I do not believe that Butker should be fired or cancelled for sharing his beliefs. His personal political and religious views are his opinions. And an opinion can’t be right or wrong; it’s an opinion, meaning not based in knowledge or facts. 

Facts, however, can be right or wrong. It is, or it isn’t.

And my issue with Butker’s speech is that he presented his opinions as facts. Opinions that are anti-science, anti-inclusivity, anti-woman, anti-biblical, and anti-semitic.

Which is why I believe it is important that Jesus-followers stand up and say that Butker’s opinions do not reflect the life and teachings of Jesus as we believe and do our very best to follow. Afterall, Jesus was progressive, pro-inclusion, pro-woman, and pro-love. Not to mention….Jewish.

So, I want to respond to some of Harrison Butker's comments with a few facts.

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Fact #1: Jesus was Jewish, not Catholic.

First, Jesus was Jewish until the day he died, and the Christian faith was built on a Jewish foundation. 

Second, it has to be acknowledged that Butker did make an antisemitic remark, couched in politics, when he said:

“We fear speaking truth, because now, unfortunately, truth is in the minority. Congress just passed a bill where stating something as basic as the biblical teaching of who killed Jesus could land you in jail.” 

Butker is clearly communicating his opposition to the Antisemitism Awareness Act that passed in Congress a couple months ago. 

All I will say here is that there is undeniable growing antisemitic sentiment in our country, and it’s harmful and reckless statements like these that only add fuel to that fire. Don’t buy that? Speak to any Jewish person and ask about their experience.

Third, Butker spoke with great authority on behalf of the “one holy, Catholic and apostolic Church,” insinuating that the Catholic faith is the only true (AKA correct) faith. He stated multiple times that Jesus himself established the Catholic Church, with comments like:

“As members of the Church founded by Jesus Christ, it is our duty and ultimately privilege to be authentically and unapologetically Catholic.”  

A defining quality of the Catholic Church is its very strict rules that are enforced by its male priests (to be clear, not all Catholics abide by that rule, but in most devout Catholic contexts, women still cannot lead in the church) and ultimately The Pope.

So, the issue with saying that Jesus created the Catholic Church is that it creates the very barrier that Jesus himself came to tear down.

Similar to the Catholic traditions’ very strict rules, one of the defining features of Judaism was the strict “laws" outlining - in no uncertain terms - who is in and who is out.

But Jesus came to say that while those rules and laws served a purpose for a time, in him, everyone has an invitation to become part of God’s Kingdom. No exceptions. No exclusions.

And speaking of exclusion, that brings me to my next point. 

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Fact #2: Women CAN lead in the church.

Over and over in his speech, Butker emphasizes that only men should be leading in the church.

He refers to spiritual fathers, bishops as men who are present-day apostles, and priests who have “the virtues of every honorable man: understanding, justice, a life of work and good manners.” And he prays for the men who lead in the church and thanks God for men like President Minnis, "who are doing their part for the Kingdom.” 

Butker spent a lot of his time talking about priests and bishops in the Catholic Church and judging them harshly for not living up the standards he believes they ought to adhere to. And his frustration on the matter is what led him to say this:

“Focusing on my vocation while praying and fasting for these men will do more for the Church than me complaining about her leaders.”

Ladies, don’t you love how the Church must be female so that only men can lead “her”…?

Actually, his assumption that only men can lead in the church is simply not true. 

While it is certainly true in Butker's Catholic context, in Jesus’s circle, women could and did lead in the church. I've written about this before and it’s something I am quite passionate about. So, rather than going off on a tangent about that issue, I will just link to the blog if you are interested in reading more on the history of female leaders in the church and the argument that neither Jesus nor Paul advocated for women to remain silent in the church, but in fact, encouraged them to lead.

Read the blog here: A Womans's Place is in the Kitchen, not the Church.

The point is that women can lead in the church, and anywhere else they want. And that brings me to my final point, and it’s the most personal one for me.

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Fact #3: “Homemaker” is not the only valid “vocation” for a woman.

One of the most controversial things Butker said was, “I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you” and then proceeded to describe how our culture has made women think they can work outside the home and achieve professional success, when actually, we should not aspire to be anything other than homemakers.

First, let’s just state the obvious.

A man telling a woman that she has been lied to (as if she cannot think for herself and have her own opinions) about what she should aspire to in life is offensive in every context. I don’t think I need to say more on that. 

Second, that word “vocation” is such a loaded word. In this context, it’s a spiritually manipulative term loaded with religious baggage about gender roles within a marriage and within the church. 

Many stay-at-home moms (who work VERY hard, I know firsthand) believe that raising their children is their calling; their “vocation.” Which is lovely and important and worthy of praise. And many moms who hold a 9-5 job would say that their true “vocation” is not their profession, but being a mother. 

But this is not the case for every woman. And a man preaching that it is the only valid and true vocation for a woman is not only outdated, diminishing, and offensive, but it’s blatantly WRONG. And anyone who cites the Bible as being in support of this view is also wrong. The Bible does not explicitly say, nor even remotely insinuate, that a woman’s true vocation is “homemaker.”  

But this view of a woman’s “vocation” is sadly not a minority view in many religious circles. And since this has been the dominant teaching for so many years, it would take a lot of unlearning to set that record straight. And why bother when it works so well in men's favor?

Since men have been the ones in charge of the church - and all areas of life - for the vast majority of history, women have been exploited and subjugated and instructed to be subservient to men. This is not an opinion, it’s a historically proven fact. (For more on the topic, I recommend Beth Allison Barr’s book: The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth.

But that sentiment is exactly what came through in Butker’s speech when he began admonishing women for desiring to work outside the home, informing them that their true vocation is to become homemakers and baby-makers.

Butker went on to say that all of the success he enjoys is made possible because his wife stays home with the kids and leans into her vocation at home so he can be a success outside of the home. 

In other words, only the man can be successful outside the home, because “God’s will” for the woman is to sacrifice her goals and dreams to stay home so that the man can live out his dreams. He then clarified that even though his wife’s dream of having a career might not have come true, she’s happier supporting him in his career:

“I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life.” 

Women! We have it all wrong! We will be happier if we stay home with the kids rather than working outside the home. Thank God we have a man to tell us what will make us happy or we'd be lost!

Here’s the thing for me: I’ve been a SAH mom and a working mom. I’ve been a married, divorced, single and now step-mom. But motherhood, no matter the form, does not define womanhood.

Which is why it’s this statement that I think was the most hurtful and offensive of all:

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother.” 

Wow. How truly awful to tell a woman that her life only begins or has meaning when she becomes a mother. This patriarchal and misogynistic trope is despicable and insensitive and frankly disgusting. And it SURE ISN’T biblical.

So, as a woman, here’s my opinion on the matter: Butker owes an apology to ALL women, but especially those who are not wives or mothers, don’t wish to ever become a wife or mother, or who desperately long to be a mother and painfully cannot.

And look, I’m sure Harrison Butker isn’t diabolical at all. But his words sure were.

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What’s even worse than speaking on behalf of women is that Butker implied that he was speaking on behalf of God.

He stated he was given a platform by God and had no choice “but to embrace it and preach more hard truths about accepting your lane and staying in it.” 

I mean, it is almost comical that a NFL kicker preaching about faith and politics in a commencement speech would use the theme of “staying in your lane” throughout his speech.

I’m sorry, but I gotta ask: Did no one on his team catch the irony before he took the stage??

Again, he is entitled to his opinions, and all of us are entitled to our opinions about the content of his speech and his positions on matters of faith and politics.

But an opinion that I find to be especially relevant is that of the Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica. They issued a response where they denounced Butker’s statements, saying that he caused division and disunity that did not reflect their values. 

I think it’s important to note that the Sisters ended their statement with, “Let us prefer nothing whatever to Christ, and may he lead us all together to life everlasting.” 

“Preferring nothing whatever to Christ” means our loyalty must be to Jesus first and foremost, not America.

"Lead us all together…” means not just some of us. Not just the Catholic ones, the straight male ones, the Republican ones, the pro-life and anti-gay ones. 

ALL of us.

So Butker, I guess the bottom line is when it comes to speaking on behalf of God or women, maybe you should just stay in your lane?

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